[00:00:00]Είναι Πέμπτη 16 Σεπτεμβρίου 2021, βρισκόμαστε στο Καλό Χωριό. Ονομάζομαι Φωτειάδη Χριστίνα, είμαι ερευνήτρια στο Istorima. Could you tell us your name?

Yeah my name is Yvonne Fotiadi.

Hello.

Hi.

Do you feel comfortable?

Yes, I do. Thank you.

That's good. Right, so why don't you talk to me about yourself. Where are you from?

I'm from Scotland. I grew up in Scotland for the... I’m now 53 years old and I lived in Scotland until I was about 23 I think It was when I first came across to Greece. Up until that time I'd I went to College, I got a certificate in Chemistry, I worked in BP Chemicals.

Did you like your job?

Yeah, I loved my job! I had a really good job, it was what I always wanted to do, I always wanted to work in a laboratory. So it was what I studied for, it was what I always really wanted to do. But then of course I came out on holiday to Crete, I met my now husband and I just gave up everything to come across here. I think a lot of it was because people thought I wouldn’t do it. Many of my friends believed that there was no way I would do something like that, because it was completely out of character. But I just thought "No, I'm going to do it! I'm going to prove them all wrong!". I was only young, I was 19 when I met my husband so I was still young. Αnd I thought "Οh, I'll give it a bash! Υou know, if it doesn't work out I'll just come home. I've got to try these things. Life is too short". So I packed, I gave notice into my job –I had my own flat at that, my own apartment, so I rented out my apartment when i first came out to... I first came out to Crete on March 1991, I think it was? So that's when I first came out. And in the beginning it was just like holiday, like how it was being on holiday. The first couple of weeks it was really nice and we got a small apartment–

What time of the year did you come round?

In March. It was March that I came out. So it was all exciting, at first it was exciting. But as I say, it was more like being on holiday. And then, as time went on, obviously I wanted to find a job for the Summer because I wanted to work. I’d always worked, so I couldn't stay at home.

Sorry, could I maybe turn you back a bit? Do you remember looking for an apartment with your husband? What was that like?

No, he found it. He knew someone that had an apartment, so he did all of that. I was just really –He did all the arrangements, I just got the flights and I just arranged it all from my side, the closure in Scotland kind of thing. Which obviously wasn’t easy, because I was leaving my family, I was leaving really good friends, I don’t think I really realized what I was doing at the time, it was all an adventure. But I remember my mum was really devastated, my sister as well was really upset. My friends, It was more a case of, "Oh, yeah go! Just go and try it Yvonne!". They were really supportive. But obviously as a mother now, I understand how it must have been for my mum. It must have been really difficult, because I was really close to my mum. And for my younger sister as well, it must have been really really difficult. But I made... When you’re at that age I don't think you think of the consequences in the next 10-20 years. You just think of the now and "I'm going to do it and I can do what I like and this is what I want to do". So, I came across here. As I say in the beginning, it was like being on holiday. But then, after that, obviously my husband, he had his own friends and he was going out to the kafeneion as they usually do. Obviously, my Greek was really limited, so I couldn’t join in these things. These things were not interesting for me, to go out with people and them all to be speaking Greek and me not understanding anything... It was not enjoyable. So, I just chose not to go out.

So you didn’t know any Greek when you came out?

I knew a few ph[00:05:00]rases maybe, a few words, but I didn't know Greek that I’d picked up on my own through listening to it and through books. I did do some Greek classes, but not... Maybe for a month or so? But not a lot, not for a long time.

And how did you- Sorry. How did you feel when, like, being in a country and not knowing the language. Was it scary? How did you feel?

I don't know. I don't remember being scared. Most people spoke English, so that wasn’t a big problem. I felt maybe lonely, because I couldn't chat with people. And then, when I first came out, obviously in the television there was two channels that we go on the TV. It was ET1 and ET2 and of course it was mainly Greek programs, the only English speaking program was "The Young and the Restless", which was really a load of rubbish, but I just watched it because I just needed, I just wanted to watch something that they were speaking in English. So I used to watch this really rubbish programs on the TV to pass my time. And luckily, I met –My husband’s cousin, was with an English girl at that time, so I used to go round and spend time with her and she was really my savior in the first couple of months, because she had been there for a couple of years. She used to go back and forward, she used to go back to Britain in the Winter and she used to stay in the Summer, so she knew a lot about how things were out here and she would advise me. And just for having somebody to talk to, it was really good. So it was really good that I had her. So I found that difficult. I wasn't going out with people that I didn’t really know, or like, or I couldn’t speak with them, so I found going out not really enjoyable. So I found things to pass my own time. Which, I picked up hobbies, I started doing all different things making things.

Like?

I did press-flowers, I used to go out to collecting flowers and pressing them, because this was something my mum used to do, so I started doing that. Making things out of clay, anything really, just doing... And cleaning obviously! I was always cleaning the house and things like this. So, I found this difficult in the beginning. And then I knew I had to find a job, so my husband found, knew someone in the village that was looking for somebody to work in an office. So, and he saidQ "Oh, it's a good job, because it’s not like you’re going to be like a cleaner. It won't be... You know, it's a nice clean job, you're in an office and I think it'd be really good for you". So, I went to the office and of course I knew nothing about tourism, I knew nothing about how booking apartments, nothing at all about this kind of line of business. So, the manager of the office had said, you know, because I don't know anything, I would be in a really low wage, but he would pay for my insurance and things like that. So, it turned out that the manager didn't speak any English either, he spoke fluent German, which I don't speak. So he spoke fluent German but no English. So, I thought "Oh this is... How on earth is this going to work?". And looking back, I don’t know how I did it. I don’t know how I coped, but for one thing, it was the best thing for my Greek! Because I really had to speak Greek, so it made me- The little Greek that I knew, it brought my Greek on. Because I had to speak it with him, because he didn't understand English, so and I had to. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed it! I used to come home some nights crying, because I hated it so much! I hated the job, I thought "I can’t cope with this". It was long hours as well... Split shifts, three months without any day-off. And of course, my husband was working for long hours as well, sometimes we would go out at a night for a drink. That was the only time I saw him. We were in this apartment with no washing machine, so I used to spend my evenings when I came home from my work washing sheets and things like that in the bathtub, doing all [00:10:00]my hand, because it had to be all hand-washed, so I used to spend all my evenings doing hand-washing... Yeah it just wasn’t a picnic.

What office? Because you kept saying office, I'm understanding that it had to do with tourism. For the record could you explain what office you're meaning? Is it a tourist office?

Yeah, it was a tourist office. So, we dealt, we worked with a lot of offices in Germany and they would do bookings through us for apartments in the village –Not just in the village, sorry, for all of Crete. We had like a brochure that was apartments for all of Crete, so we used to rent these apartments out to various different offices in Germany. We used to also do excursions, your typical excursions for Knossos, Samaria and things like that. We used to rent cars and motorbikes and then we used to also do money exchange, because that was before the Euro, so we used to do a lot of money exchange, we did a lot of business with that. So that was basically what the job was. As I said, something that I’d never done before, but I gradually picked it up. But I was meeting people, then there was a lot of British people in the village, so in that way it was nice. Because British people would come in, we would chat, so it was an outlet for me to speak to British people, so that wasn't so bad. But the job was just something that I would never have chosen. But I think my Greek came on, because it was kind of a "sink or swim", you know, I had to learn the Greek to be able to do the job, so my Greek did come on and I think within the first year. After the first year, then we stopped speaking English at home and we only spoke Greek. Which was it was hard, but it was a good thing for my Greek, because if my boss spoke English, then probably we would just have done, we would have spoken all the time in English. So it was quite good for that so in that particular. So we lived in this apartment for about two years and then the friend, the British girl that I knew, she then fell pregnant and she had a little girl. And I think when I saw her little girl and how happy she was, then I just thought "Oh no, I want, you know, I want to have kids". By this time I was about 26 and I just... And had survived two years, things started getting a bit better, because obviously I was able to speak a bit more Greek, so I had more friends I could communicate easier with people. So when we were out with different people, I could speak to them. Again, it wasn't friends of mine, close friends that like I had in Britain, but it was, you know, I had some kind of friendships, so it wasn't too bad. So, when she had this, she had a little girl, that’s when I thought "Oh no, I want to have children". So, then we decided that we would get married, because at that point, having children without getting married... It just wasn’t –I mean, it wouldn’t have bothered me, but it was just something that was in the "done" thing and it would have been really difficult for the family here.

So, on the March, the third year that I was here, we had our wedding. Most of the planning was done by my husband –poor soul– and my best woman at that time, and I just really went with them. But they made all the arrangements, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what happened, how the weddings were here, I'd never... Obviously completely different from how it is in Britain, so we didn’t have things like bobonieres and all this kind of thing, we didn’t have that kind of thing, so I left all the organization up to them. They did it all, I was just present and maybe gave my opinion now and again, so I suppose in a way I got out of that. Which was quite good.

Was there a proposal?

No! That was another thing, it was just like: "Oh, so we will get married then". And that was it. There was no getting down on one knee, or fireworks, or jumping, you know, out an airplane, or doing underwater diving and proposing... No. It was just: "Oh, so we'll get married then". And I just thought "Oh[00:15:00] okay, is that it? Okay then". There was no engagement, there was no engagement ring, completely different obviously how it is in Britain. And I think I just went along with it, I just thought "Okay, that’s how it is here. I've chosen it here, that's how it is". I just accepted it. So the wedding was on the 10th of March. Really good wedding, really good fun, I really enjoyed my wedding! We had such a good time! Two of my best friends came across for my wedding... The two friends that I was originally out in Greece with when I met my husband. They supported me, bless them! None of my family came out. Ithink–

How did you feel that your family didn't come out?

It didn’t really bother me, because I don’t think I expected it anyway. My mother is afraid of traveling, I knew she wouldn't and I think she just didn’t accept it, my brother is really strange, my sister then was too young and my brother was too young, they weren't like old enough to travel out on their own, so I just accepted it that they wouldn’t come. I didn't expect it, I didn’t expect any of them to come. But my two best friends really supported me and they came out. It was a difficult time as well, March. They needed three flights to come out in March, because it was Winter, there was no charter flights, so they came out for me, which is something that I will never forget and they supported me and they were here. And they walked, both of them walked me from the car up to the church, so that was good. And we just had a really good time! Really just like a huge party. And there was no stress, like there is in British weddings with speeches and how things have got to be, and... No, there was nothing like that. You didn’t have to say anything in the church, you just stood there, everybody, you know, put your rings on and walking around the table and throwing rice at you and things like that. It was just, you just were playing a part. You didn't have to say anything, or do anything. So it was really easy.

But you’re not Orthodox I'm guessing, since you’re British. This is an Orthodox wedding.

Yeah, because I’m... That was a bit of an issue at the beginning. But I’m Protestant, so I'm Christian and I have been christened, but to get the wedding in the church, I needed to get, I needed to find a minister in Britain who knew the church and he had to write a special letter and then this letter had to be translated into Greek before they would let the marriage take place in the Orthodox church. Yes. So it was yeah, again it was something that we didn't bother about it was all for my husband's family, it was for the family, for his family. To do it properly, it’s what they wanted. So, luckily I was christened and I had... It was on my birth certificate that I was christened, so it was just a case that we had to get a letter from the minister of the church where I was christened in Scotland, but luckily we got that and it was okay. But it was just completely bewildering for me! I didn't know what was going on and I didn't know what they were saying! Okay, my Greek was okay then, it wasn't so bad. But to understand the ceremony in the church, I don’t think I understood a lot.

And all those traditions and customs that you came across during the wedding, how was that for you? because this was your first wedding and a different country seeing it, living it, how did you feel?

I think I just followed it all, just because I knew I had to. It didn’t mean anything to me, I didn’t... Because I knew I had to, I didn't care about it, it wasn’t like this is going against what I believe. Because even though I’m Christian, I was never a believer in the church. I was christened because my gran wanted us christened, it wasn't because I was a believer or anything like this, so it didn't make any difference to me. What was, you know, I just went along with it and did what was expected without even thinking about it I think, I didn’t bother. Just for peace, just to keep everybody happy, I just went along with it cause it was[00:20:00] just easier to do that, than cause a fuss, you know. So that was just the easy thing. But it was a really good, I look back at my wedding and I think because I didn't do any of the organization I think my husband was really stressed and you could see it in the video afterwards, he was really uptight but I was completely in my own planet! Wasn’t bothered at all! People were enjoying themselves or not, I didn’t care! I had a good time. I loved my dress especially, it was perfect for me! Yeah, I just had a really good time at my wedding, I loved it.

Do you remember going and finding your dress?

Yeah, we went into Heraklion to find my dress and I didn’t want one of these big traditional wedding dresses, I just wanted something really simple because that is my style, and luckily I found it. As soon as I put the dress on, it fitted me perfectly and I remember the woman saying in the shop: "This dress was made for you!" I think they maybe all say that, but anyway, but I really thought it was! I just put it on and I just thought "This is it. This is the dress!" But then, I couldn't find shoes! Because all the shoes had huge high heels and of course, I couldn't wear high heels, because then I would have been taller than my husband, and he didn't want that. So, that was the main problem, was finding wedding shoes, white shoes in low heels. But eventually did, after about fifty shops, I eventually found them! So it was, so yeah... So everything, so that was perfect, I was quite happy with that. So that, it went well, the wedding went well.

And your friends then left and went back to Scotland?

Yeah, they stayed for maybe about a week? They came out a few days before, and they were there for the evening before the wedding. We all went up to the village and we had a big meal with the closest people of the family and friends, and my two friends came up as well. And of course, they were all singing all these different songs and the three of us sang "Oh Flower of Scotland" and it was so nice, it was really, it was just really good fun! So, we had a really good time and then the days after the wedding we just went around, it was actually quite cold at that time and I remember, March. And it was quite cold, but yeah, I had a good time with them! So it was good.

And then did you go somewhere for your honeymoon?

No honeymoon! There was no... I’m still waiting on the honeymoon! Again, that was just... You expect that, but I just thought "No". Maybe that –you know– we couldn’t at that point, I was working because I used to work in the Winter, excuse me, my boss went to Germany and I used to cover for him, so I was actually working in the office in the Winter time, so we didn’t do the honeymoon. We had planned to go to Scotland in the Winter afterwards and have like a party in Scotland, because we didn't have anything here. So we planned to have some kind of party in Scotland and I think that's what we thought that would be like our kind of honeymoon. We would go there, we would have a party with all my friends, but of course that didn’t happen, because I fell pregnant. Yeah so I was pregnant, I found out in May that I was pregnant. So that was all our plans for Scotland gone! Which I wasn’t really bothered about anyway, I was just happy to be pregnant! It was so nice, but I was really sick when I was pregnant, but again that was just something that was the Greek way. I didn't know how things... I only knew how things were here, so I didn’t know how, and I was the first of my friends to be pregnant, so I didn't have anybody to like talk about it with, or advise, or... But we went through that and everything was fine. I was really sick at the beginning, but after that, I continued working. And in the beginning I thought "Okay, that means I’ll have to give up my job, after I’ve had the baby, I’ll[00:25:00] have to give up my job" But my husband sais: "Oh no, It’ll be okay! Because my mother will look after the baby, we’ll find a way! And anyway you will be working, you won't be working until March and that the baby will be about 3 months old". So I thought "Oh, okay then. I’m going back to work". I think I just thought "I’ll just stay at home with the baby, I don’t have to do this job anymore". But that wasn’t the case. Which gain, it was the right thing for me, because I don't think I would have been completely happy being, staying at home all the time. Working it has been the best thing for my confidence and for making me who I am now I think. If I hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t have the skills that I have now, which I’m really proud of having and I still managed to bring up my two children and work and I think it’s been the right thing. So it was... So, yeah. So, then in December I had my beautiful baby daughter, which was again a really scary experience. A scary experience was coming home and my husband and all his family being at the olives and me being at home alone with this little baby that just depends it on me. And I didn’t know I was doing because nobody's trained you to be a mother, phoning my mum: "What should I do? And she's doing this, and what does this mean?" And going up and poking her every now and again, seeing if she was... Cause I thought she wasn’t breathing and "she’s been sleeping too long! I need to waken her up!" and poking her... Yes, that was that was my world for three months, until I started back work. Yeah, but that was then, after that I had a person that was me, that I could... We spoke in English, we did all the British things and nursery rhymes, the books.... This was a part of me that I could give to her and I could share with her, so this was... Yeah, this was a really nice thing for me. It was like my person. Somebody I could express myself to, I could be completely myself to, in my own language. So yeah, this was a really precious thing for me. And then five years after her, then came along my son. He was a challenge as a baby, a lot more challenging than my daughter. She was really the easy baby, a really easy child. My son was more challenging, but that was all, you know. I continued working and my mother-in-law looked after the kids, so we continued that way until obviously... Then it was the school starting. That was another challenge for me, because although by this time I could speak quite well Greek, I didn't know so well for reading. I could read obviously a reasonable amount, but I couldn't write so well, my spelling, grammar was really bad, because I'd never learned properly the language, I'd never had classes or been to classes or anything like that. So then, it was a learning process for me along with the children. Which I found really difficult and really tiring, because for me to help them with their lesson, I had to also read the lesson! So I was reading the lesson sometimes the night before, so that I knew what the story was about, having my dictionary with me... Yeah so, that was... Again, I was pushed to do this by my husband, because he says: "Oh you should really do this". At the time I really hated him for it, but I think again, it was in my best interest. Because it pushed me to learn more and to read more, and so it was a good thing for me and it did help me a lot. I think my job as well helped me with my Greek. I think it was a big thing helping me with my Greek, but the school was really a good learning process. But I was glad when the kids were old enough and I didn’t have to sit with them anymore for homework, that was a joyous time, because it was really exhausting! Friday was always my best day, because I knew we didn't have, it was a day without homework! But obviously again, Greek mothers, it[00:30:00]'s the same. It wasn't just because I'm foreign, but I just feel it was just even harder for me, because I didn’t understand a lot of the lessons.

So yeah, so I got through that and continued working. Kids were getting older, they were quite independent, I started doing different... I was always busy, always busy in the house, I started doing various hobbies, I did–

Like?

Yeah, I used to do tapestries and then I started knitting, crocheting, soap making. I've done so many different, I love creative things, it's what I really enjoy. So this passed a lot of my time... I'm quite content to be at home, especially cause I’m working all Summer, quite content in the Winter.

What job do you do now?

After the office that I worked and closed, I did I season of being a taxi driver... Which was very scary and–

Would you like to share your story?

Well, basically I did it because I needed to feel I was contributing towards the family and to help my husband out cause he was really struggling on his own. I managed to pass the test which I was really proud of myself and I also did, I had to get a certificate in my Greek, which I got that okay. I needed that as well be a taxi driver and I started just doing a few hours in the morning and a few hours in the evening. But it just wasn’t for me... I was so anxious with the whole thing. I must have lost a lot of weight, although I did cope. Looking back again, I don’t know how I did it! Going to these hotels that I've never been to before, driving this huge Mercedes, dealing with taxi drivers. But I did it! But I knew it wasn't what I wanted, I wasn't happy with it. And while I was doing that, I was looking for other jobs and luckily a friend had mentioned a job at some apartments that they were looking for somebody in the booking department so I went for the interview and I got the job which was fantastic! Because it was a similar job to what I had been doing in the tourist office, but it was only with one hotel obviously, not dealing with all different hotels like I was when I was working in the office. So it was just a great opportunity, so I could leave being a taxi driver. And I although I do keep my license, It’s a job I would only do if we were on starvation level, if I really had no other choice. Otherwise it just wasn’t the job for me, I didn't enjoy it.

Do you enjoy your job now?

Now, some days I enjoy it and other days I don't. I think in the whole idea, I think I’ve learned so much from this job, l 've learned a lot of computer skills, again because I've had to for the job, because I'm kind of left on my own to find out things and I don't have the same fear of computers now, and I'll go ahead and I'll search for things and I'll find things out in my own. So it's been a really good job in that way and I’ve been there now...This is the 6th year. So I'm quite settled there, I wouldn’t be looking for another job. As I said, good days and bad days, it's because you have good clients, good guests and bad guests. And occasionaly, you know we make mistakes or I'm really tired or I'm really stressed but I think that's all jobs are going to have something like that. And then, in the Winter with its job, I still work in the Winter but less hours. So it's not so stressful, so it gives me time also to still be working and to still do my hobbies. I still have a trip to Scotland when I can.

Do you go often to Scotland?

I have been trying to go every Winter for the past five or six years? I didn't go last year because of the Covid. Hopefully, I’ll be going this year fingers crossed, that there’s nothing happens.

Do you miss your family?

Yes, I miss my family and I think[00:35:00] as well because my mother is getting older, I find it... I feel guilty that I’m not there for her. Again, as I say, you don’t think of the consequences when you’re in your twenties. When you’re 20 years old, you do what you want. At the time I think if I’d really thought through it and I was really really mature, I might have done things differently, but I chose what I did. But I feel that she needs me and I’m not there for her and that doesn't... I don't feel good about that. So I try to go as much as I can, but it's not the same as being there, so this is why I always try and go back at least once a year, so I can see her and spend time with her. Yeah, and also a chance for me to catch up with my brother and my brothers and my sister and their family their kids and my friends.

Are you still friends with those two girls that came to your wedding?

Yeah, they’re still my best friends when I go back. Well, I won't see one of them because she lives down in England, she lives there, but I’ll see the one that still lives in Scotland. We still keep in touch, we still chat, yeah we’re still good friends. A lot of happy memories and I still have memories to make with them I'm sure! But yeah, we had a good time.

Do you regret –Sorry.

No, what were you going to say?

If you regret anything.

A difficult question. Because I don't regret what I've got, I don't regret my family that I have here. I think if I could have it all, if it could all be together, if I could have everybody in Scotland and the people I have here, it would be perfect. But as it is, I feel that I'll always be a person in limbo. And now I don't completely belong here, but I don't completely belong anymore in Scotland. When I go back to Scotland I feel like a stranger. Things have changed there, people have changed, things are going on, I don’t know anything about now and it makes me want to come back here. Because here is what I know, it’s familiar, it’s safety, it’s home now here. But I will always be a foreigner here, I'm not Greek, so I will always be a foreigner. I'm always speaking a foreign language, it's not my language. So it's a difficult thing. So regretting it, as I say, if I could have the time again, I don’t know if I would... Yeah, I don't know if I would make the same decisions. It’s difficult because I have so many things out here that I don’t have in Britain. The sea, when I go for a swim in the morning... I mean that is paradise! I could never have that in Britain, I would only have that on holidays whereas I’ve got that here now. Difficult to balance. So regrets? My regret is my family. Is my family in Scotland, not being there for my mum, not being, not seeing my nieces and nephews grow up, that is my regret. Yeah, I do regret that. But, apart from that, I think here I'm... I have a happy life. I’m lucky, I've got a lovely family, I live in a gorgeous island and I have so many lovely things, the weather, the sea, yeah, the food, the healthy diet, I think I've got so much to be thankful for here. So I just have to, yeah, think that it was meant to be. And I make the most out of where I am, nobody is completely completely happy I think. We always look for something, but I think I'm very very lucky.

Would you like to share anything else with me?

I don’t think so, I think I said everything.

Thank you mum.

You're welcome.